well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Shame - the story of my life.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
