just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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