im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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