Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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