dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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