No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
