there's paper in my vomit.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize