ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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