Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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