chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
