fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Floor bacon is actually really good
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
