i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
