RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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