Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
