what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize