Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
