i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You can't motorboat a personality
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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