I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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