I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
