how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
