bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
