An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
