i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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