she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Bring me that man meat
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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