Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
