we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
