We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
