pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
