sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Someone came in the potted fern
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize