I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
