i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
