think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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