I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
