So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's shark week go big or go home
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
