if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
