Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
