Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
