Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
