Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
