guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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