**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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