those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
