I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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