she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
