well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
