Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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