Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
