My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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