At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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