I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
