Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
