i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
