I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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