We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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