when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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