Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
