Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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