Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
