Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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