Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
