Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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