One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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