I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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