I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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