Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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