What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
