dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize