Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
