I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
