Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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