chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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