Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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