In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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