after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
