what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
time to smoke my breakfast
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
