she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
