Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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