I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
